I’m so nervous about this W.E form thing. It’s eating me alive. I really need this to go my way.
The past year was so tough on me mentally and physically, and when I look back at it now, I realize I wasn’t in the right mindset for school. I should have taken a semester or two off approached school again afterwards. I know what I want to do someday, and I’ve had my life measured out in little sugar spoons ever since before I was old enough to know what a “career” was, and when I looked ahead of me back in October 2013, I didn’t see the challenging-but-rewarding uphill battle I always used to see… I saw a monstrous, terrifying series of failures ahead of me.
School was always easy for me, but school in the past year has stressed me out so much, my stomach drops to the pavement when I think about it. It’s not that I couldn’t do the schoolwork… It’s that I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do or accomplish anything, so all of my “potential” and all the expectations that came with being told I’m “gifted” my whole life felt wasted. And I hate that I spent my first year being so useless. I took the past almost 4 months off of school to bring myself back to life, and I’ve made friends with the silence and the feeling of being “alone”, and I feel like I’m on my way back up. There’s some fucking massive, scary dragons to slay in the next couple years, including the MCAT Exam, and I’m going to need me to be the guy I would’ve looked up to back when I was a kid.
But, first, I need this form to go my way. Please.